Ambassador, House of Knowledge
1965; Phoenix was born into an old mystical family, one that he'd known for many lifetimes. After enduring various illnesses his body finally succumbed to diabetes at the age of one. During childhood he was largely uninfluenced by the esoteric ways of the family, but always had a fascination for what his Grandmother was all about; watching the old white haired and mostly paralyzed lady stroke bumble bees, surrounded by Egyptian artifacts and shelf upon shelf of old books. Still, he was told that he became invisible at times and did wonder why Mother would call for him when he was standing only a few feet away.
His father took him to see much of Europe, this came to an end at the age of eleven when his parents split up, though Phoenix loved the different ways of Germans and Greeks, the bandits of Yugoslavia, fairytale castles of Austria and has always had a passion for experiencing different cultures. Gran passed over when Phoenix was twelve. At first her visits would frighten the boy, but he got used to seeing her ghostly presence in his room. Fourteen, money was short and so Phoenix found employment at a timber yard working weekends. Fifteen and the family thought all was lost when he fell into a deep coma, his only memory during that three week period was awakening to sobbing faces around the hospital bed, tubes invading his body everywhere. He still feels like those weeks were a black hole in his life.
Leaving school at sixteen (as is the case in Britain) after a poor education and dealing with dyslexia. School for him had been an unpaid labor, he'd befriended some teachers of a hippy nature and spent more time discussing philosophy and nuclear disarmament than anything else. Despite many fights he never got in trouble, it was known that he defended smaller children and was a bullies worst nightmare, one having been thrown out of a second floor window. He then entered a three year apprenticeship, eventually becoming a Master Carpenter, although in truth he wanted to become a nurse and help people, Doctors to him being more like arrogant bullies.
Leaving home at the age of seventeen was a drastic reality shock, he soon became homeless and learned to hunt for food such as rabbits and fish with spear and net on the south coast of England, eventually returning to his home town, though not before experiencing the deaths of friends who had become drug abusers and another coma. Phoenix never saw the point in reducing yourself to a zombie, whilst entertaining pot now and then hard drugs obviously destroyed people, though not before turning them into monsters.
No longer content to listen to family conversations about the great mysteries, at the age of 18 Phoenix was allowed to enter a mystery school and studied diligently. Nothing seemed to be new and as much as he would study these things were already known somewhere within. His Grandmother continued to visit, weaving signs and symbols in the air around him, speaking vague references to vast concepts that hungered his mind. Indeed during her life she had tutored another; Alistair Crowley, and Phoenix had found letters to her from members of the Royal household speaking of forming a new Order more powerful than AMORC, she had been at the centre of London's spiritual movement during the earlier part of the twentieth century. Likewise Phoenix found he was able to visit other members of the family who sensed his presence as either mist, coldness around the ankles or lights in the air. Some could see his physical form and communicate while others would hear him knocking at the door.
He married at an early age of twenty, two children soon followed although between the birth of his daughter and son Phoenix had been visited by his Grandmother again and told that if he wanted the power he would loose his sight. Sure enough it wasn't long before Phoenix had to undergo corrective laser treatment for a minor eye condition. Eighteen months later he was totally blind. One of the last things his eyes beheld was the birth of his son.
Frustrated and angry, unemployed and struggling to adapt to this new world without vision, Phoenix vented at his Grandmother "Where is this power then…" What he then experienced is a long story, in short he though life was over and regretted challenging such an ancient soul as Gran, then he experienced divine Love and felt as though he would drown in his own tears as his soul emerged and appeared before him. Time and struggles went bye, a nagging voice within challenged his depression over never being able to paint or ride the motorbikes that had been such a liberating part of his life. Again with anger he grabbed a pencil and paper to prove this insanity wrong, to stop the damn voice. He sat a drew the most perfect dragon he'd ever drawn. Although unable to see this sketch others told him of its detail and quality, he continued day after day drawing what he could not see.
The inner voice nagging at him again, Phoenix stood at the door of his sanctum, wherein waited studies, abandoned they had just become another loss. He stepped in and opened a monograph. Nothing happened for a while, but then Phoenix began to feel the familiar presence of all the other students studying through many eras. Suddenly overwhelmed by colors and a swirling mass of letters he struggled to focus, finally a small window of vision revealed the words 'Greetings Brother'. More and more of the monographs were visible in days and weeks to come, some words had color or heat radiating from them. He was presented with pictures of the great masters, Jesus, Buddha and others, placing hands over them Phoenix experienced great pain and sorrow that was soon overwhelmed with Love.
At twenty-five Phoenix displayed some of his work at a disability art exhibition attended by the city Mayor who could not believe his eyes. This resulted in exhibitions at city hall and various other venues, the media swarmed in and Phoenix found himself in the midst of a TV and Radio circus, soon coming to the conclusion that he was the freak show; demeaning tests challenged his blindness despite all the medical evidence. No matter how many times it was proven that he could see in other ways, there was always another TV station with more tests. Although requests for his work came from various parts of the world, finally he slammed the door on it all and decided to retrain in computer skills.
Whilst others of less ability on his course found employment, Phoenix encountered the ugly face of discrimination and so used his skills to campaign for rights, becoming the editor of a magazine for people with disabilities his work was recognized by local government who then funded the magazine and he went on to win various battles with government and media. At this point in life Phoenix's psychic abilities were drastically altering his reality and whilst some were vital others he could no longer cope with. Walking through shopping malls would make him feel sick as he could not only empathically feel overwhelming materialism, stress, want and frustration Phoenix also perceived the thoughts of others, loathing and lies behind smiles and what people wished upon others. He resorted to suppressing these abilities and dreams which woke him from screaming sleep; too often memories of the torture he'd endured whilst eyes were being 'treated'.
At twenty-six he was approached by someone wanting to travel and prove to people that disability does not mean inability, whilst raising funds for MS and Diabetes research. Phoenix had many mystical experiences while travelling through India and Nepal. His Mother had already spoken of visions, that he was a Phoenix, mediums likewise spoke of this, not to mention seeing his own soul as that very thing. Still he thought this to be fanciful and presumed it to be purely symbolic. He met a Master in India who greeted him as 'Garuda' Phoenix knew this was the Hindu and Buddhist name for Phoenix (which was only his hidden name at the time) and reflected more on who or what he was. That he was also told his fate would be to manifest soul and meet his love before 'the dawn', set mind wondering.
During his travels he experimented with the powers said to be those of a phoenix, and was able to bring peace in the middle of a gun battle between Muslim students and Hindu soldiers whilst being held at gunpoint. He encountered evil and sent it running, screaming with fear at whatever the witch had seen in his eyes, even Phoenix's travelling companion pleaded with him to never do it again. Yet the witch was replaced by people in white robes who pleaded with tears for him to come and see their Master. Odd encounters for a train station and in stark contrast to the complete lack of anything spiritual he found at temples. The spiritual nature of India to him was in the face of children who were so grateful for so little and smiled at the joy of living. Places such as the Ganges river brought with them more memories of his past.
Whilst staying at a palace he took a moment to thank Gandhi for all he'd done as that day was the anniversary of Gandhi's death. Standing in the huge circular entrance of what had now become a hotel Phoenix was surrounded by bees. Swarms occupied the lobby sending staff and residents screaming and running for cover. Phoenix stood still amidst the roar of so many bees, then suddenly there was silence, broken only by the sound of footsteps crunching on the bodies of bees that now carpeted the entire floor and furnishings, all but a small circle around him.
Travelling on camels, elephants and whatever form of transport they could find, the duo, now rafted through the Himalayas. Phoenix tried his hand at kayaking and soon found himself being smashed into rocks at the bottom of rapids. He managed to swim to shore after nearly drowning; the grateful rafting crew unaware of blood trickling inside his wetsuit. He loved to explore the temples and street markets of Kathmandu. One night he was pursued by monks who thought him to be Buddha, pleading for blessings but never coming too close, so convinced were they that when Phoenix touched the head of one monk who knelt before him, he fainted.
Waiting for his companion outside a store in the Tibetan district Phoenix felt his white cane being meddled with, reaching down he found an infant. Kneeling before the little Tibetan girl she reached up and touched his forehead, placing her palm over his third eye. Soon Phoenix found himself surrounded by the infants family who chatted away in a language he didn't speak yet he knew what they were saying. The Mother offered him a monks prayer belt which he offered her money for, although poor she would take nothing for it.
Returning to England after three months of travelling Phoenix discovered he was having more and more difficulty in walking, since the kayaking accident he'd been in a lot of pain and now falling over. Doctors told Phoenix that he would never walk again due to nerve and muscular damage in his hips and he now experienced life from a wheelchair, training in kayaks to return. After a year he did so, spending three weeks solo kayaking one rapid, one river after another in the Himalayas. Meditating by the river one twilight evening Phoenix was startled to find himself flying above on wings not his own. His consciousness had merged with that of an eagle and he spent the next hour or so flying up and down a valley, Mount Everest looming in the distance.
His Mother had taught Yoga for twenty-five years and helped Phoenix to learn to walk again after two years. She had taken the unusual measure of addressing him as Master for sometime and he was soon to become a Temple Master of the mystery school. After serving for a year and the discourses he contributed to the school, other temples began to invite him to conduct psychic experiments and give lectures in London and NY State etc. During his time as a Master he discovered that he'd some ability to heal, his old cat had been given the death sentence by a vet, the alternative was brain surgery that neither he or his Mother could afford. Phoenix told his Mother to wait for a day, in his mind he held the fourteen year old monster of a cat. Two days later the vet could find nothing wrong with Jasper. His temple Guardian had been known for having an accident prone nature but this time a fall from thirty feet, face first onto a spiked concrete floor was the end as far as Doctors were concerned, they gave him a few hours to live. Frantic relatives who knew little of their fathers beliefs contacted Phoenix asking if he would be there in Mikes final hours.
Phoenix projected himself by the bedside and held the battered form of Mike. Doctors gave him a week at the most, then he would be a vegetable due to brain damage, then he would be paralyzed from the neck down, then the hips down, then after a few weeks he hobbled into the temple and resumed his duties, although Phoenix decided it might be best that Mike didn't handle the more fragile ornamentation, Mike was still allowed to bang the gong. There were not enough hours in the day, when not giving presentations he lived at his computer just writing lessons and discourses while also running a charity raising funds for Tibetan refugees in Nepal. Phoenix was found collapsed at his desk paralyzed after a stroke, Unable to talk he could no longer fulfil his obligations and resigned as Master and folded the charity.
Six months later Phoenix tutored the new Temple Master - his Mother. Although he'd made a full recovery he wanted to travel again and visited America and Canada to tutor those who had requested to become students. He fought this inwardly, unable to accept that he was qualified to teach anyone, indeed the outer name given to him by the mystery school was 'Modesty', something that had often been to his detriment, though his inner name meant 'He who is Love and Loved' this was something else he found hard to believe. He met several soul mates in the States and knew his twin was here somewhere, the love he found though was of a sisterly nature. His Grandmother had helped him to remember much when he was younger, not only knowledge but also past lives, many of them and so Phoenix was very aware of the gut wrenching heart ache that is to not know your love returned and only a twin soul can do that; it had been too long since he had held her and for the second time in his life he contemplated suicide, "without love there is no life."
At thirty-seven he began to write again, loving both humor and fantasy he combined them with esoteric knowledge into the first drafts of a novel. Although his poetry and mythology research had been published in various ways, writing a novel was a learning curve and one that occupied the next seven years when mystical pursuits would allow. With the final acceptance of what he was, Phoenix found himself approached by incarnate angels who sought guidance in this harsh realm, often unable to cope with human emotions. Despite trying to live a more mundane life without the demands of his mystical nature, Phoenix was constantly drawn back to it, deemed as a guru by some, which he found very amusing, yet disturbed at people willingness to follow and need to idolize others.
At forty a second marriage failed, both becoming aware that it had been a contract between soul mates as the marriage had other implications. Swearing to remain single and not let soul determine matters of the emotional heart Phoenix finally met his twin in California, less than a hundred miles from where he had married his second wife. This was a turning point for him and rather than serve the soul he and other personalities had done for so many lifetimes, Phoenix became aware that no consciousness should be enslaved to another, whether higher or lower, that he should have some say in fate and not be hoodwinked into doing souls will without consultation.
At forty-three he is now writing a course on Reiki, sensing a lack of clarity about chakras and related subjects on the internet Phoenix works with his soul and its twin, incarnate as his wife Katrina, and also the members of his spiritual family, to express truth and encourage the light work so necessary here. One day he hopes to establish a retreat for spiritual minded people to study and have a vacation from the rat race.
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